Mole Madness - Mike Offutt

I was eating cheese nachos

at a movie last week

when something strange came over me

But it wasn't in my stomach,

no, it was in my brain

I started thinking 'bout chemistry

My head filled up with images

of molecules and atoms

and what happens when they chemically combine

I could see 'em spinnin' round 'n round

colliding....rearranging

What was happening to my mind?

(Chorus)

Mole madness, it's coming to your town

Mole madness, gonna track you down

Mole madness, will get into your soul

Mole madness will make you love the mole

So I went to see my doctor

and he said, We're gonna help you.

But we have to check 'n see if you are stable.

He hooked me to a big machine

With lots of flashin' lights

Then he held up a periodic table.

Well, my heart started pounding

my blood pressure soared

my brain waves nearly broke that poor machine

my Doctor shook his head

looked me straight in the eyes and said

"It's the worst case that I have ever seen!"

CHORUS

I started freaking out

and cryin? like a baby

But my Doctor said, 'Hey, don't feel blue!'

It could be worse, you could be into physics,

and besides, we got a special day for you!

That day is called mole day

And it comes every year

when we celebrate the unit called the mole

it contains 6.02 times ten to 23rd power

When you've got that much, you got a mole

CHORUS x 2